


Reap what you Sow

by StarScreamLoki



Category: Loki - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Gen, Loki is a mess, Minor Violence, Panic Attacks, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 19:37:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16708756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarScreamLoki/pseuds/StarScreamLoki
Summary: (Loki Centered, Third POV) Loki wakes up at the Avengers infirmary without his memories. He doesn’t know who he is but the Avengers are being kind to him. Yet, danger is always on the lure but the God may have found himself changing now he doesn’t know who he is, but can you really take the tricks out of the Trickster?





	Reap what you Sow

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a while to write this one but I’m happy with the result nonetheless. And hey, look at that, the thing even has a happy ending, something I don’t do often. I’m really curious what you think about this fic.

He tried to swim through the fogginess of his brain, his thoughts blank, his vision black until he slowly opened his eyes. It took some time for the blurriness to deprive and the light shining in his face burned his eyes, sending a wave of pain through his skull.

“You are awake!” a voice boomed right next to him, the loudness of that exclaim making his ears ring and his head pound.

He felt a weight press on him and hairs were pressed in his face, the pressure of the weight making him gasp for air as pain shot through his body and made his head pound harder. He grunted his discomfort and the weight on him was released, giving him some room to breathe.

When the world finally swam into focus he was met by two twinkling blue eyes. The blond flassy hair of the man looking back at him felt somewhat familiar but he couldn’t place it, neither as the grin the man bore which felt as if he had seen it a thousand times before.

He felt his brows knit at the confusion he was experiencing and brought a hand to his face to rub it. The moment he touched his forehead a searing pain jabbed through his skull and he groaned again, part of it frustration but most of it just plain agony.

“I’m so sorry brother. I thought you’d never wake again,” the man spoke with that same booming voice, the guilty voice with which the other man had spoken not lost on him.

He blinked a couple of times before he spoke but his voice was cracked and his throat felt like parchment. He coughed and tried again. “Who are you?” he asked the blond man with a raspy voice.

The other’s eyes widened. “Loki?” he asked uncertain, worry in his voice.

He snickered. “Loki,” he parroted still crocky. “That is a strange name.”

“No, _you_ are Loki,” the man said, his eyes widening even further. “What is wrong with you?” he asked skeptically and narrowed his eyes.

Loki blinked a couple of times but didn’t answer.

Someone else filled his vision then, bending over him and shining with a flashlight in his eyes. Loki tried to push the man away, the light hurting him, but he didn’t get any further than weakly raising his arm and groaning.

“Well, at least he is responsive,” the new man said and dimmed the flashlight. “Loki, do you remember what happened?”

Again Loki blinked and his brows furrowed as he tried to remember… He tried to remember. What exactly? Anything actually! But his memory was a gaping dark hole. He didn’t know what had happened, where he was, and even worse, _who_ he was.

Panic started to rise within the God, his heart rate going up, his breathing coming in shallow and quick gasps, and one of the machines next to him started to beep.

“Whoa, calm down,” the man said and laid a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “You are safe here, we’re not going to harm you. Just breathe.”

Loki did as the man told him, regulating his breaths and trying to calm himself but he could feel the bubble of panic still sitting underneath his skin. Slowly the man let go of him and adjusted the two slabs of glass in front of his eyes.

“What is the last thing you remember, brother?” the blonde man inquired.

“N-nothing,” Loki stuttered. “I remember nothing.”

“Don’t play foolish games with me, Loki,” the blonde man - apparently his brother - said angrily and Loki felt himself cringe.

He couldn’t quite place it but the big man instilled some kind of fright in him.

“Thor, please,” the other man said and put a hand in the air to calm the man.

“He is lying. He is always lying,” Thor exclaimed accusingly.

“Mister Odinson, I can assure you he is not lying,” an unseen voice said. Loki felt himself cringe again. The sound of that voice way too unreal, too mechanic.

“How are you so sure?” asked Thor.

“Because I installed a lie-detection program at Mister Stark’s request,” came the answer from the unseen voice.

A lie detector? Who were these people? What were they going to do to him?

Panic rose within him again and Loki tried to sit up and get out of the bed, but Thor pushed him back. “Easy brother,” he said calmly.

“No! You’re- Get me-” Loki tried to struggle free from the man but he was so strong, his weakened body not a match and the voice in his head urging him to get away from this place spoke louder. He had to get away. Now!

“Banner!” Thor exclaimed, a plea for help though he didn’t know exactly what he was asking for as he tried to keep his trashing brother in the bed.

“Yes, yes, I’m on it,” Bruce said and walked to one of the machines and tapped some things on the screen.

Loki vaguely felt some cold liquid entering his veins through one of the weird tubes that was attached to his arm, but he didn’t have the time - the mind - to pay it any heed and kept fighting Thor to get away. “Let go off me! I don’t- Go-”

“Bruce, I don’t know what you are doing, but can you do it faster?” said Thor.

The scientist tapped some more on the screen and his brows furrowed. Loki was still trying to fight his brother off, the machines beeping harder and more frequent.

“I don’t understand. That should have been enough to sedate a dozen horses yet it seems to have no effect on him!” Banner panicked.

“Can’t we chain him to the bed?” Thor asked. He didn’t mean anything nefarious with it, just his innocence or maybe his ignorance that had forced the idea from his lips. “They have done that to me once.”

But the Thunderer’s words had the opposite effect, not calming his brother in the slightest. If anything, Loki tried to fight him even harder now, the prospect of being chained up simultaneously evoked anger and fright within him. He didn’t know why the idea appalled him so much - though one in general shouldn’t like to be chained up under any circumstance - but it instilled utter loathing within him. Something in the back of his brain tried to explain him why, a memory perhaps, but he couldn’t grasp it.

“Yes, excellent idea,” Bruce bit sarcastically. “Tie someone who is having a panic attack to a bed. I’m not going to do that Thor!”

“Then what do you want me to do?” Thor pleaded almost desperate as he tried to keep Loki in the bed.

“I don’t know how you Gods deal with panic attacks!” Banner said frustrated as he started to pound more icons on the screen. “I don’t know. Hold him, hug him, something!”

At those words Thor seemed to freeze for a moment and it gave Loki the opportunity to at least sit up right. Then Thor did just what Banner had said, wrapping his arms around Loki and holding him tight.

Loki struggled to free himself from that iron-like cage of his brother’s arms but to no avail. Somehow it felt familiar and something scratched at the back of his brain again, but the memory wouldn’t come. It was familiar indeed, but it also felt very far away, like something that had been a long time ago, yet Loki struggled less and less in his brother’s arms.

Tears burned on the edges of his eyes. Loki didn’t know where they came from, or why they were there, but he suddenly felt weak, deprived and he no longer tried to fight the blonde man - his brother.

Thor held on for a couple of more seconds before he pushed Loki back to arms length and gave him a warm smile. “Rest, brother,” he said warmly and carefully pushed Loki back in the bed.

The panic hadn’t left Loki yet but he was now somewhat able to control it. The machines around him had ceased their beeping to a minimum again, and the other man called Bruce seemed less panicked too.

Still, a couple of voices in the back of Loki’s head kept telling him nasty things. He didn’t want to listen to them, they were lying! But the voices remained persistent and he had trouble differentiating them from the truth.

Maybe they spoke the truth…

* * *

A couple of days had passed and it had taken a day before Loki had healed from his injury and it had taken many hours to bring him up to speed about who he was. Yet, nobody seemed to know what had happened - nobody but his brother Thor and he kept his lips sealed.

Steve had taken up on the task to show Loki around the Avengers Tower. The place felt awfully familiar yet no memories came to mind. He found, however, that he had no trouble finding his way through the building. Already he had made a map of the place in his head and whenever he encountered a floor he hadn’t been before their purpose sprang to his mind quickly. He didn’t know how he knew, he just did, his memories still there on an unconscious level apparently and aiding him in a strange way.

But Loki found it exhausting too. Even though his unconscious seemed to help him somewhat he was in a constant state of deja vu and that was wearing him down immensely.

He was also having a lot of nightmares whenever he slept. The things he experienced in those dreams frightening him because he didn’t know if they had truly happened or not. For now he denied that they were snippets from his past, his gut told him otherwise though and that left a painful knot in his stomach.

He had wanted to ask someone about the dreams, if they had truly happened, but he didn’t know who to trust and thus he had resulted in holding his tongue. Maybe his brother knew something but every time Thor looked at him he did so with those big blue eyes filled with pity. Pity, and something else Loki couldn’t quite place. It gave him the shivers and that look refrained him from asking questions.

“I like you better now than I did when you still had your memories,” Clint said freely to Loki.

They were all sitting in the living room of the tower, sharing a meal, just chatting about this and that.

Loki smiled at the archer. “I don’t know if I need to take that as a compliment or as an insult, but I’m going to take it as a compliment,” he retorted.

“Still can’t remember anything?” Steve asked genuinely interested and Loki shook his head.

Loki’s memory-loss had became an often spoken about topic and they regularly asked him if he already started to remember things. The answered still remained that Loki hadn’t and they would always just nod and leave it with that.

It made Loki feel very uncomfortable. They were treating him kindly but no-one was even trying to help him to get his memories back. They hadn’t offered any help or suggestions of any form and the God had figured they indeed liked him better now than they had before.

He still didn’t know who he had been before but it must have been something bad.

“It will come eventually,” Steve offered and the others nodded, albeit their nods were a little grim and they didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it.

Slightly irked Loki fixed the Captain with a glare. He was done with the evasive behavior and the snide comments which were often wrapped in a compliment but were actually not. He decided to speak up and just ask the question straight-forward, something that felt odd and vulnerable to do. “What have I done that was so ‘evil’ that you are constantly evading the subject and won’t explain what happened?”

Silence filled the room and everyone seemed to exchange some awkward glances with each other, all of them avoiding eye-contact with the Trickster.

Loki looked to his brother for support but Thor quickly looked down, not wanting to look at him. His eyes wandered to Tony who put both of his hands in the air. “Hey man, not my place to tell.”

Loki grinded his teeth as the others nodded in agreement with Tony’s statement, all but Clint and Natasha and the God’s gaze settled on the latter. “Tell me,” Loki demanded irritated.

Natasha gave him a hard look and then took a deep breath. “Fine,” she conceded even though Thor was throwing her warning glances, almost pleading with his eyes not to tell, but the Widow didn’t pay him any heed. “Half a year ago you came to Earth with a-”

Natasha’s sentence was broken as the sound of gunfire suddenly filled the room, the glass windows breaking and shattering all around them. Within a heartbeat everyone was on their feet scrambling to get out of the crossfire or reaching for their weapons.

Loki jumped up and with an agile leap he was behind the couch, hiding from the incoming bullets. However, something in the back of his mind screamed at him to stop fleeing and take up a stance. He wasn’t a coward, he wasn’t one to hide and flee, he was a fighter, and even though his brain didn’t remember, his body surely did!

When the gunfire stopped for a second Clint shouted, “Stark, have you even _considered_ bullet-proof glass!”

“This is bullet-proof glass!” Tony answered with tight and dismayed voice.

Without any form of warning multiple parts of Stark’s suit flew through the chamber, clinging to him and wrapping him in his Iron suit.

Then the attackers streamed in through the windows from a level somewhere above, cutting their lines the moment they hit the floor and opening fire again.

Complete mayhem erupted as the Avengers fought the enemy.

Loki had no clue who the attackers were, they were all clad in tight black suits obviously adorned with some Earthly armor, their faces hidden behind armored masks.

One of the attackers flew through the room - Loki had no clue who had thrown him - and landed dead at his feet. Without a thought Loki snatched the rifle from the man’s hands and he peered over the rim of the couch to see where he could jump in to help.

Soon Loki had settled himself behind his barricade, taking out any new attackers that came pouring in through the windows. He couldn’t possibly stop them all but he figured it helped a great deal.

Still did it feel awkward and out of place to take the enemy down from such a distance but he didn’t pay the feeling any heed. That was until a knife skidded across the floor and landed at his feet.

He grabbed the knife and with the gun still in one hand, the knife in the other, he leapt from behind the couch, joining the fight head-on.

He found that his body knew what to do, dodging attacks and even jumping and somersaulting through the air to take down the enemy. It felt liberating and the God lost himself in the battle, a feeling of glee washing over him as adrenaline pumped through his veins.

He didn’t want to question how he knew what to do; now was not the time, but it still nagged at him in the back of his mind.

After taking down an enemy close to him Loki found that he had run out of them and quickly spun on his heel.

Natasha was fighting off another and Loki spotted one of the foe’s trying to sneak up on her. He shouted her name to warn her, but it would be too late, and with a flick of his wrist and something else that suddenly burned in his veins and gave him a strange sensation of power, he spun the knife at the foe.

Just in that moment Natasha turned around and saw how Loki’s knife shimmering with a green glow plunged in the foe’s throat right between his armor, dropping him dead in an instant. The Widow looked at him with big eyes and nodded her gratitude to the God before she jumped away to fight the enemy somewhere else in the room.

As quick as the invasion and fight had started, as quick had it ended, the room littered with bodies and the Avengers - some of them bleeding and panting - standing admits the slaughter.

Loki dropped the gun to the floor, his face showing confusion and fright. He didn’t know what had happened, what the powerful feeling had been, but he had unmistakably seen the green glow that had enveloped the knife as he had thrown it.

“You said you didn’t remember anything,” Thor said though it sounded more like a berating than gratitude.

“I- I don’t,” the Trickster stammered and continued his explanation in a soft voice. “My body just suddenly remembered the movements and what to do.”

Thor gave him a puzzled look but before he could say anything Natasha beat him to it. “Well, I, for one, am glad you did suddenly remember.”

“Not a memory,” Loki muttered.

“Memory or something else, I don’t care. Thank you for saving me.”

Loki bit his lower lip and nodded timidly. It felt strange to get a compliment, a _true_ compliment, from her and he didn’t know if he should feel happy or irked. He couldn’t quite explain but it just felt off and seeing the agreeing nods from the others really didn’t help to sort through those feelings.

When he responded it was in an equal timid voice, “You’re welcome.”

* * *

“Well, we already know you can handle a gun and a knife, let’s see what else you can do,” Clint said and gestured at the array of weapons that was laid out on the table in front of them.

It had been a couple of days since the attack. Tony had the windows replaced with something that was even better than bullet-proof glass - at least he claimed so - and ever since the team had been busy with tracking down who they were.

Apparently they had a specific target, and to Tony’s relief, or maybe even dismay since his building had been attacked again, hadn’t been the one they were after. Yet, it was still unknown to Loki who had been the target.

The Avengers had treated him very kind, more than once complimenting him on his fighting skills as they had rewatched the footage of the fight, but they had also been a little pushy. They wanted to know if he wasn’t lying to them and that he _had_ his memory back. Such a thing was not the case, J.A.R.V.I.S. had confirmed as much, and today Clint had decided to put the God’s fighting prowess to the test.

“I’m not so sure about this,” Loki said with an uncertain voice, eyeing the weapons with something that felt akin to fright.

“Let’s just start with a knife,” Clint said and picked one of the table and put it in the God’s hands. “We know you can throw it, just stand there, aim, and throw. Simple.”

Loki sighed and then nodded, taking up a stance at the cardboard that had a resemblance of a black human with weird white lines on it some feet from where they were standing.

He really wasn’t certain about this. The fight had been different, it had been a matter of life and death, this was not the case and he didn’t know if he could do it.

He pushed the feeling aside, castigating himself for his whining and instead he settled on sheer determination. He gripped the handle of the knife firmly, pulled his arm back and then threw it.

For a moment the God held his breath but it escaped in a disappointed sigh as the knife flew wide, missing the paper by several feet.

“It’s no use,” he said somewhat defeated but Clint handed him another knife.

“Try again,” the archer said calmly and Loki took the knife.

Again he let the knife fly, still missing the paper and the God grabbed another knife, throwing it as well and missing again.

Frustration crept over his face. He had thrown the knife to safe Natasha’s life, his muscle-memory working fine, and now he felt like a kid that didn’t even know how to handle simple cutlery.

Frustration grew into anger as he tried throwing more knives, but not one had even come close to the paper and when he was out of knives the God growled frustrated in the back of his throat.

“Hey, calm down,” Clint said stern but not as so to agitate the Trickster any further. “Let’s try something else okay? How about a gun? You seemed pretty apt with that.”

For a moment Clint doubted whether it was a smart idea to hand the other a gun if he couldn’t aim knives properly - they could get hurt - but he figured it might be worth to try.

Clint handed the gun to Loki who held the thing awkwardly in his hands. He remembered how he had handled the weapon a couple of days ago and tried to replicate that. Then he fired once and again missed the paper.

By now Loki’s anger with himself at his incompetence had grown to rage and he quickly emptied the clip without even properly looking where he was aiming. The wall around the target was riddled with bullet-holes but the paper was still pristine.

“This is not going to work,” he said angrily and slammed the gun back on the table.

“You just need some practice,” Clint retorted but he understood the God’s anger. “Just… Just pick up a weapon that appeals to you and try it with that.”

Loki shook his head in defeat. “No, I’m done for today,” he growled and stalked out of the training room without another word.

* * *

The next day it was Natasha who came to fetch him and after some arguing Loki grudgingly followed her to the sparring room. She seemed very intended on helping him and he wasn’t sure if it was out of kindness or because she felt like she had a debt to pay, but it made Loki feel a little happy nonetheless.

“I think you just need to do it, be in the heat of a battle I mean, to remember how to fight,” she said as she was striding through the hallway with him in tow.

“I highly doubt it,” Loki retorted bitter but he had concluded there could be no harm in trying. For now he was useless anyway and the only reason he was allowed to stay around was because he had nowhere else to go. Or out of pity…

That latter didn’t sit well with him but the fact that he was useless angered him even more. From what he had gathered the night before from the Avengers, and especially his brother, was that he was very apt at fighting and even could wield magic - which explained the green glow - but he just didn’t remember.

He didn’t even know where to begin with exploring his abilities but the fact that he had magic had stirred something within him. It felt as if it was familiar, safe, and something he should be able to work with, but the Avengers didn’t have any mages to help him. Thus he had conceded on fighting with weapons though he was sure Natasha wasn’t going to make use of any during this ‘training’ session.

As soon as they entered the room Natasha came at him, sweeping his feet from underneath him and flooring him. “I wasn’t even ready,” he hissed angrily as he looked up at her.

A little smile formed on her face. “No-one is ever ready, fights don’t announce themselves and therefore one always must be ready,” she retorted dryly. “Now get up!”

With a grunt Loki hauled himself to his feet, giving the Widow a venomous look, and stood there staring at her.

“Well, take up a battle stance,” she berated impatient.

Loki’s eyes grew wide and frustration crept over his face. “If I knew how I would do so but since I still don’t remember _anything_ you will have to explain!”

Again that feeling of weakness and cowardness washed over him. It didn’t feel right to ask anyone how to fight, let alone _her_! But here he was, no memory and he truly didn’t know what to do.

“Copy my stance,” she said as she put her feet apart and balled her fists in the air.

Loki scanned her posture and mimicked the stance to perfection and she nodded approvingly.

Without warning or any explanation of what he was to do next Natasha threw a punch at him, hitting him square in the face.

Loki grunted his dismay and opened his mouth to say something but Natasha beat him to it. “Stop thinking, just do!” she commanded and took another swing at him.

This time he dodged the strike but she came at him again and he leaped away again.

Natasha didn’t give him a moment of respite all the while she explained him what to do. Within a couple of minutes they were fighting but still Loki didn’t remember anything and the Widow had hit and floored him multiple times. He had found, however, that he really liked this, and even though he felt frustrated he also felt exhilaration and some joy as they danced around the room.

On the occasion he hit Natasha, his inherited strength sending her flying across the room but she just pushed herself to her feet again to come for him once more. She wasn’t about to give up even after Loki had asked her to stop, just keeping the pressure on and stalking after him as he tried to back-peddle.

By now they had a spectator in the form of Thor who was watching them fight with a slight amused twinkle in his eyes but his entire demeanor screamed that he pitied his brother.

When Loki was lying on the floor again, the Widow hovering above him, Thor got up and walked over to them. “Let me try. I’ve trained with my brother for centuries, maybe it will help.”

Loki gave his brother a sceptical look and his eyes wandered to Natasha. She wasn’t of any help either as she nodded her agreement. “Might be worth a shot.”

Suddenly Tony’s voice blared over the intercom. “Natasha, Thor, suit up, we’re leaving in five.”

Thor and Natasha sighed collectively.

“Another time then, brother,” Thor said and stuck out his hand for Mjolnir. Precisely in that moment Loki hauled himself to his feet, standing between his brother and his oncoming weapon. Thor was too late to avert the hamer’s course and cursed.

Mjolnir connected with the back of Loki’s head and the last thing he heard was another curse from his brother before he was plunged in darkness.

* * *

With a groan Loki opened his eyes and put a hand to his head, his skull pounding.

“Ah, mister Laufeyson, you are awake,” J.A.R.V.I.S. piped in sounding weirdly gleeful. “I’ll inform Mister Stark that you are awake again. He wanted me to inform you that they will be back soon.”

Loki blinked a couple of times and looked around. He was in the infirmary of the Avengers Tower, multiple tubes and wires attached to his being.

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Loki,” he answered the AI and muttering under his breath that he didn’t like the given surname.

“Noted Sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. answered.

Loki pushed himself up in the bed, eyeing the tubes with disdain and pulling them from his arms, making the machines beep.

It was common knowledge throughout the nine realms that someone who got their memory back after suffering memory-loss they would regain them in either a rush or in snippets, but such a thing was not the case for the Trickster. Loki just remember who he was; his entire life-span of a thousand and some more years, including what had happened in the passed days. _Including_ how he had lost his memory.

It even more so tasted bitter that Mjolnir had been the reason of his amnesia in the first place and the solution as well.

He and Thor had gotten into a fight after arguing about returning to Asgard.

Thor hadn’t want to leave Midgard because he wanted to stay with his friends, help the Avengers and learn more about Earth so he could protect the planet.

Loki on the other hand hadn’t want to stay, simply due to the fact that the planet was a constant reminder of his failure to take over the realm, inaverteleby reminding him of a Mad Titan that was still on his heels, but mostly he didn’t like the Avengers. They hadn’t treated him nice, often jesting him and still bearing a deep grudge for what he had done, and the Trickster didn’t need any of that, _especially_ not from Humans.

One thing had let to another and both them had become physical as they had fought each other till a point where the fight was quickly settled as Mjolnir had collided solidly with Loki’s head, knocking him down.

There had been no footage of the incident because Loki had blacked out the camera’s with his magic prior to the argument.

Just as Loki got out of the bed the doors to the infirmary opened and Thor stormed in, his face a mask of worry and a little bit of fright. With a big stride he was in front of Loki and he grabbed his upper-arm. “Oh brother, I’m so sorry. Are you alright? I didn’t mean for that to happen. I’m so sorry. You just stood up just in the moment Mjolnir flew to my hand and-”

“Thor!” Loki stopped his brothers rant. “I’m fine. If you could just let go of me,” he said slightly irritated yet he couldn’t deny the little flip his heart made at his brother’s concern.

“Yes, yes, of course. I’m so sorry. It was just stupid. I forgot you had forg-”

The doors opened for a second time, interrupting Thor again, and Steve, Bruce and Tony poured into the room.

“Hey, Reindeer Games. Good to see you up and running again,” Tony remarked as Bruce immediately closed in on Loki to examine him - much to Loki’s dismay who tried to swat the scientist away.

“Just let me have a look at you, the impact was pretty hard,” Bruce said as he tried to get closer to the God. His voice had been riddled with genuine concern and now that Loki looked at the others in the room - Natasha and Clint had now joined as well - he could see they were all concerned for his well-being. It gave him a weird sense that made him want to giggle but at the same time it was mixed with uncomfortableness.

For the passed days all of them had been nice to him, had stopped mocking him and hadn’t thrown him any angry glares anymore as they had done before - the sole reason he and Thor had gotten in a fight.

It was unsettling yet he couldn’t deny the pang of warmth he felt at their current behavior.

“Please. Sit down on the bed so I can examine you,” Bruce said with hopeful anticipation, the look in his eyes pleading indeed and riddled with concern.

Loki sighed but then complied, sitting down on the bed and letting Bruce examine him and making him do some simple tests next to the God’s dismay. They were useless tests and examines but Loki couldn’t deny he kind of liked the fact that someone worried over him - something that hadn’t happened often.

“Any pain anywhere?” Bruce asked as he typed away at a keyboard.

Loki wanted to snap at the man. Mere hours ago he had caught Mjolnir with his head, what did the man think? Of course he had pain! Even the monstrous other of Bruce would have pain, but the genuineness the man had spoken with checked the God once again and thus he calmly answered the question “Just a headache.”

Thor roughly padded him on the shoulder with a smile then and bellowed, “nothing you haven’t faced before!”

Loki nodded meekly.

“So, everything will be just fine,” Tony said happily. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving so I’m gonna order some food. Anything you particularly fancy eating today, Loki?”

Again Loki was taken off guard by the constant kindness and he responded a little baffled. “No, uh- I have no preferences. You pick.”

Tony nodded and started to converse with J.A.R.V.I.S. to order food.

“Well, it seems you have no permanent damage and everything will be fine,” Bruce stated. “How’s the memory?”

Loki fell silent at the question, his brows furrowing as he pondered his options. He could tell them he had his memory back but that would probably change their behavior towards him. He didn’t want to go back to the way they treated him before and contrary to his Asgardian friends - which truly were Thor’s friends, not his - they actually seemed to like him.

On the other hand did it taste a little sour to lie to them now they were being so nice, but then again, he was the God of Lies thus one more scheme wouldn't matter.

Apparently the decision was made for him as he was silent for too long and Steve said, “doesn’t look like it.”

All it took was a shake from Loki’s head to confirm the Captain’s words, the lie so easily fabricated.

In that moment Loki decided to see how far he could go and meekly said, “though it would be nice to have them back one day.”

The room fell silent as nobody answered him and it was enough confirmation for Loki that he had done the right thing, chosen the right option to not to tell them.

It angered the God immensely that again they didn’t want to help him get his memory back. If he hadn’t had it back would they just let him wander through his life without knowing who he was or where he came from? What were they afraid of? Another alien-invasion?

Probably. But he hadn’t been in his right mind at the time, an angry Titan breathing down his neck and manipulating him to attack Earth.

“Sir, the food has arrived,” J.A.R.V.I.S. informed them and interfering with Loki’s thoughts.

Well, for now he would see how things would play out.

* * *

A couple of days had passed and the Avengers unnerved Loki immensely. They were being kind to him, training with him to teach him how to defend himself - and he had to be careful with that now that he had his memory back because he now knew how to wield weapons - and regularly asking how he was doing.

It irked him because it felt unnatural and half of the time he thought they didn’t mean their kindness but he couldn’t detect the lies in their words or behavior.

“Do you already know who it were that attacked us days ago?” Loki asked Steve as they were in Stark’s gym.

The Captain had dragged him along so he could do some training, but the gym bored the God immensely.

He looked at Steve who was pounding away at a punching bag, three of the things already discarded in the corner as Steve had made Loki try to punch a couple of them. It hadn't done him any good to vent his frustration because after one punch he just broke the bag. Neither had there been any machine that had even remotely proved challenging to him. For Godly strength one didn’t even need a functioning memory and eventually Loki had given up, just sitting on a bench talking with the Captain.

Steve stopped punching the bag for a moment to give Loki a look which said he wasn’t quite sure if he should tell the Trickster. Loki flashed him a smile to encourage the man to speak; Steve knew what was going on.

“Some of us made some, uh- enemies,” Steve answered cryptically.

“Oh. I’m sorry, they’re probably after me,” Loki answered while fidgeting with his hands, almost cringing at the faked excuse he made.

Steve give him a weird look. “Why do you think they’re after you?”

“Because I was a bad guy right?”

Steve swallowed. “Well, yes. But everyone in the team has made their enemies.”

Loki blinked and gave the other a puzzled look - feigned, again.

“They were after Natasha,” Steve sighed and then concentrated on the punching bag again, pounding away at the thing as if it had been the enemy that had attacked them.

The God smiled inwardly - it was so easy to distract information from the Avengers, especially the goody-two-shoes Captain.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Loki offered. Normally he wouldn’t offer them any help, but he wanted to see how much further he could play this game, and on some unconscious level he actually _wanted_ to help them but he took that feeling for a lie and pushed it away.

“I don’t know. Without your powers-” Steve broke his sentence figuring he maybe shouldn’t say the words that had sprang to his mind, fearing he would anger the God. “You have a mean punch though,” he quickly added to save himself from the other who was already narrowing his eyes in dismay.

Loki looked down at his hands and nodded. “I suppose you’re right.”

If only he knew…

“Anything special about these enemies? I mean, why they are hard to catch or haven’t you found them yet?”

“I’m not sure. Natasha said it was her problem so she’d deal with it.”

Loki raised an eyebrow, feigning concern for her well-being.

“She’ll be fine,” Steve reassured him.

If anyone was able to fend for herself it was the Widow, and if she got in trouble, she would be in dire trouble indeed. Even Loki had to admit that.

“Well, it was nice talking to you Captain,” Loki said and got up from the bench to leave.

“Where are you going?” Steve asked slightly alarmed.

“Does it matter?” the God shrugged and gave the other a wink. “I’ll promise I won’t go far.”

He didn’t have anywhere else to go than the Avengers Tower anyway so wandering around would be as good as any.

* * *

As Loki passed the training-room he heard shouts of an ongoing battle. He pushed the door open and entered the room and saw that Natasha and Clint were training with each other.

His lips tugged at their corners as both of them greeted him kindly without ever breaking their fight, and Loki sat down on a bench to the side.

He might as well observe the two to learn some more about them, and in that regard he could play his amnesia-card that he had to learn indeed.

“You want to join?” Natasha said as she made a backward-flip to avoid Clint who was advancing on her.

Loki chuckled. “I hardly see how that is fair, you’ll have me floored before I even set foot on the math.”

“Then you team up with me,” Barton offered and he kicked at Natasha who just leapt aside to avoid the blow. “We can kick her ass together,” the archer said frustrated.

Natasha opened her mouth to say something, but whatever taunt she had wanted to make got interrupted by the wall blasting to pieces, shards of stone flying around the room and debris falling from the ceiling with the impact.

Without a word Natasha and Clint stood side by side, ready to face whatever had caused the explosion and looking at the hole in the wall.

One single person clad in black and face hidden behind a mask entered the room through the gap. The person raised a hand, pointing one finger at Natasha and uttered a single word. “You!”

The Widow barked a laugh. “Only one? Come on, tha-”

Again she got interrupted as a series of explosions went off around them, and as far as Loki could tell, on multiple places throughout the tower.

Within a heartbeat enemies poured in through the new holes while Clint, Natasha and Loki were still caught off guard for a little but recovering quickly from the initial shock.

It was literally an oncoming of enemies, bodies clad in the same blacks and masks swarming the training room and quickly Natasha and Clint were leaping and bounding this way and that to fight the oncommers.

“I don’t have my gun on me,” Natasha shouted out above the turmoil.

“Yeah, live with it, I don’t have my bow in my back-pocket either,” Clint answered sarcastically.

The door swung open as Steve came barreling into the room, Thor following him on his heels.

“Brother, get out of here!” Thor commanded and then vigorisouly started to swat at the enemy with Mjolnir.

A sudden blast of light lit up in one of the holes, taking down several enemies at once before they could enter the room, and Loki caught a glimpse of red and gold armour.

Tony’s voice piped in through the speakers in the ceiling, having asked J.A.R.V.I.S. to let him because none of the Avengers were wearing their earpieces to communicate. “There are literally hundreds of the damn idiots out here!”

“You keep fighting them from the outside, we’ll manage on the inside,” Steve shouted back as he punched another enemy out cold. “Loki, get out of here. Now! That’s an order!”

Loki clenched his jaw, not wanting to heed Steve’s call but if he wanted to continue the game of his amnesia he would have to listen to the man.

As the God turned for the door to leave, multiple enemies threw himself in front of his path. “That might be a challenge,” Loki said deadpanned but a smile formed on his lips nonetheless.

With a grin he punched the first enemy straight in the face, knocking him down cold, and staying within the perimeters of what the Avengers had thought him - smuggling a little with his true battle-skills to aid him - he knocked out more of them.

“Tony! I don’t know where they come from or how many more there are, but put a lid on it. There are so many I can’t even move properly to make a swing,” Natasha called distressed.

“Well, you have to figure it out Romanoff because the multitude of them are destroying my lawn and they keep pouring in through what seems like a portal,” Tony answered through the speakers a little irritated.

“Where is Bruce?”

“Fighting them off on another level.”

As Loki turned around - his way to the door free but ignoring that - he noticed how sore pressed the Avengers were. The room was literally packed with the enemy, so many of them that long ranged attacks were futile and for every enemy they laid to waste, three took their place.

The God didn’t even know what creatures they were. They looked human indeed but even Humans weren’t able to fight so dense-packed and it had been a clever move of them to just overwhelm the heroes in order to bring them down.

Natasha let out a screech as she got grabbed around the waist, the intend clearly to kidnap her. Clint was already on the floor, enemies swarming him and once again he noticed how his Brother was packed like he had seen so often happen, crackles of lighting seeping through the bodies that clung to him.

As they tried to drag Natasha away her eyes met his and she screamed at him. “Loki, go! We’ll handle this!”

In that moment time seemed to freeze for a couple of seconds as Loki assessed the situation. The Avengers were pressed to their limits and without aid of the Hulk they could use any help they could get, including his.

Yet a part of him still doubted to blow his cover but when Steve got swarmed as well Loki made his decision in a split second.

His hands glowed green with his Seidr as he cast an illusion of flashes of light to disorient everyone in the room except himself. Meanwhile he cast an illusion over the Avengers, making them look like an enemy but making sure they could see each other, and shifting some enemies into the likes of the Avengers.

After the blinding lights had stopped true chaos erupted within the room as the enemy started to fight among themselves, thinking they were attacking the Avengers.

The God reached into one of dimensional pockets and pulled out two guns which he had stored there and with a shout he threw them at Natasha and Clint.

“No bow my friend,” Loki shouted as a form of excuse to the archer but the bafflement on his face and the fact that he had something to shoot with made the man grateful.

“Tony, can you concentrate on clearing one hole solely?” Loki shouted as he conjured two daggers and joined the fray.

“What’s your plan, Reindeer Games?”

“I was not asking. Trust me for once!”

A meek, “okay,” was the answer from the Man of Iron and blasts suddenly came in through the most left hole of the room.

Loki sprinted to Natasha and Clint, grabbing them by the collar of their neck. “Captain, time to go.”

The Trickster sprinted to the hole, the two assassins struggling in his hands demanding to be let go, but they might as well have tried to move a golden pillar as Loki only let go of them as he threw them out of the hole which was free of enemies now. Steve quickly followed, heeding Loki’s command to the God’s own bafflement.

“Thor, a little lighting would be nice,” he screamed at his brother before he jumped out of the hole himself just in time before the Thunderer set the room ablaze with lighting.

Loki tumbled through the air and in that moment he realized how high up they had been in the tower. It had been a long time since he had fallen from such height and if he landed wrongly it would cost him dearly. Yet he was able to change his position in mid-flight and he landed on the ground without any injuries.

The landing could have been more graceful but he was already glad he had made it, though his time to celebrate his survival of the fall was short-lived.

Quickly he hauled himself to his feet and sprinted for the portal through which enemies still poured over the lawn, Tony and Steve already fighting them.

Quickly he cast another illusion over the enemy, making it appear that the Avengers were close to the portal and another fit of chaos ensued.

When Loki reached the portal he shapeshifted to look like one of the enemies and started to examine the portal with his magic, prying and prodding at it to see how it worked, and better, how he could dismantle it.

When he understood the mechanics of the magic of the portal he let out a sigh. This was going to take a lot of energy and it would take a toll on him. Even worse, he had to let go of his shapeshifting to do so.

He quickly created another illusion of himself near the Man of Iron who almost seemed to jump out of his armor due to the unexpected visit. “Stark, I’m at the portal but I need your help to keep them off my back so I can dismantle it.”

“Can you not cast an illusion?” he asked irritated as he punched through Loki’s illusion, breaking it, to kill another enemy.

Quickly Loki send another copy of himself to answer the man. “No, I can’t otherwise I wouldn’t be asking you, oaf,” he grated.

“I hope you know what you are doing,” Tony answered sharply and then continued on much warmer tone, “how do you even know what you are doing?”

Loki didn’t answer and let all his illusions fall, including the one that kept him shrouded and he was soon fighting the enemy again waiting until Tony would reach him. The inventor had worked on his nerves and it was good to let off some steam before he would take down the portal.

Stark quickly joined him and Loki turned to concentrate on the portal. He called forth his Seidr and he could feel the power of the portal tug at him, yet he pushed through, destroying the magic from within to the outside.

Slowly but steadily the portal started to shrink in size and he gritted his teeth to keep going.

“I don’t know what you’re doing but it’s working,” Stark praised him while keeping the enemies of the God’s back.

Loki didn’t know how long it took him to destroy the portal. It felt like hours but could have been no more than minutes and with a blast the thing collapsed in on itself, sending Loki in a flight through the air. He hit the ground hard, landing on his back and knocking the air from his lungs. He let out a pained gasp and black splotches swam in front of his eyes as he fought to remain conscious.

Suddenly an enemy appeared in his peripheral vision, aimed to attack the God.

Loki was to deprived to take him down, the portal had cost him a great deal of energy, and he fixed the other with a deadly glare, ready to face whatever it would throw at him, his muscles pulling taut. The blow never came, however, as the enemy fell dead to the ground, a grinning Natasha appearing in front of him.

She offered him a hand to haul him to his feet. “Now we’re even.”

* * *

After Loki had closed the portal the Avengers had quickly dispatched the enemies, littering the place with bodies.

They were now sitting in the common room, huffing and tired from the fight which had been quite intense for all of them, and Stark muttering something about fortifying the walls as well.

“Well, I think that little action of yours has blown your cover now,” Natasha said a little too happy to Loki.

“What do you mean?”

“You used your magic to save us from a dire situation.”

“Well, yes. I just instinctively knew what to do just like before,” Loki said meekly, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh, cut the crap,” Tony interjected sharply. “We all know you have your memory back.”

Loki fixed the man with a glare, his expression guarded. “No, I-”

“Stop the act Loki. We know,” said Natasha.

Loki looked from Tony to Natasha and then to the others who were nodding their agreement.

“How long have you known?”

“A couple of days,” Steve grinned.

Loki’s eyes bulged from their sockets for a brief moment before it was taken over by anger. “How?”

“That would have been my doing, sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. answered and the God looked up at the ceiling.

“Lie-detector,” Tony shrugged as he could see the question swimming on Loki’s face.

Loki was silent for a moment as frustration crept over his face. “Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Why should we?” Natasha stated more than asked.

“You weren’t telling us either,” Clint observed. “We just wanted to see how long you would keep playing your cheating game.”

Loki bared his teeth at the man. Now that his ploy had fallen there was no need for him to keep back the hatred he felt towards the so-called heroes. Yet, that hatred wasn’t entirely true but more an old habit.

“Why haven’t you told us sooner?” Thor asked with pain in his voice, speaking up for the first time since they had sat down.

Loki’s head whipped in the direction of his brother, anger spilling from his eyes. “I don’t owe any of you an explanation for that,” he bit venomously.

“Oh, not this again Reindeer Games. You could’ve fled when we told you to leave and you didn’t. If it hadn’t been for your actions we would still be fighting them off and you know it. Stop the lying for once.”

All eyes focused on the Trickster and Loki felt highly uncomfortable underneath all the glares. “Because you were being nice,” he grudgingly admitted, his voice barely audible. “It was nice to have some friends.”

“Reap what you sow,” Steve shrugged.

Loki nodded, fidgeting with his hands even more now that the truth was out.

“If you treat us with kindness we will return the favor. Though we still need to talk to you about your little fit that was the invasion, but that is for another time,” Tony said casually.

Loki fixed the man with a glare, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he milled over the words. He could indeed act a little more kind towards them, he had done so the passed few days, but that didn’t mean he was willing to let go of his old ways.

“Just don’t _forget_ you can’t take the tricks out of a God of Lies,” he said with a smile and they all shared a laugh at the pun.

 

**The end**

**Author's Note:**

> I thrive on comments <3  
> [Follow me on Tumblr](https://starscreamloki.tumblr.com/)


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